Unattainable
by eclipse2012
Summary: In which Ratatosk comes to terms with the burden of his shared existence. Rated for swearing. SPOILERS!


**Unattainable**

**Summary: In which Ratatosk comes to terms with the burden of his shared existence. Warning: Spoilers for certain events in the game.**

**Pairing: One sided Ratatosk/Marta, implied Emil/Marta**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia: Knight of Ratatosk. I get that. And besides, if I did, it would have been Ratatosk who ended up with Marta, not Emil.**

**Without further ado, on with the story!**

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><p>Life sucked sometimes.<p>

As the split personality of Emil Castagnier, Ratatosk understood that.

He would openly admit to the fact that being called in when the lousy dog couldn't even finish-or start in some cases-his own fights was nothing short of annoying. And it was really starting to piss him off.

The red-eyed blond would swear up and down about how his counterpart would never amount to anything, but when you're inside someone else's soul, it's hard for people to hear what you're saying.

But what really got to him about the whole thing was that his sandy blond companion loved Emil for his cowardice.

It made no sense. How could she, Marta Lualdi-who, in his opinion, deserved better than a sniffling little dog like Emil- love him? How?

And moreover, why?

Ratatosk was the antithesis of Emil. Her was strong, confident, a good fighter, and straightforward. He was everything his counterpart wasn't, and unfortunately-and ironically-suffered for it.

He didn't even bother counting the number of times he'd been thrown into battle because Emil couldn't fend for himself. Did the green-eyed wimp really think Ratatosk was okay with being thrust into dangerous situations all the time? And without his personal consent prior to the fight?

No, apparently, he didn't.

But the one thing that actually made things bearable was Marta.

He couldn't explain why, but he wanted to protect her. Sure, he supposed that part of the reason was that she'd requested his help when Palmacosta had been nearly burned to the ground, but that didn't explain why he continued protecting her. For all he knew, that should have been a one-time thing. She wasn't really what he would guess was his taste in women. She was too clingy, not to mention whiny, for her own good.

So why…?

The issue of how he felt towards the girl bothered him a lot, more so than he let on. He continued to protect her when he was summoned out into fights, and even after them too, when he was permitted temporary freedom. The blue-eyed female never even guessed that he struggled with his own motives regarding the question of why he bothered sticking around. Then again, he was pretty good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to.

Which was almost never. And his short temper made keeping things to himself a very, _very_ hard task. How he'd managed to keep this secret for such a long period of time was beyond him.

He eventually came to the conclusion that he felt something for the girl. He knew this was a very bad move on his part, mostly due to the fact that he was a Summon Spirit. He would live forever, and she would eventually die somewhere along the line.

Of course, only he was aware of his identity as both a Summon Spirit and as the true Ratatosk. Emil was oblivious to it. But then again, he would find out soon enough.

It was only a question of when.

But it wasn't fair to him, and it especially wasn't fair to her. He-she, he could care less about himself, especially since he'd reached the point of no return with his feelings quite a few weeks ago- didn't deserve to go through the pain of watching a loved one die before you. Only for Ratatosk, it was much worse. He was an immortal. He couldn't die unless his core was destroyed.

Unfortunately, this left him with a simple, and painful, conclusion. He needed to stay the hell away from Marta at all costs, both for her wellbeing and his own.

It wasn't fair, being an immortal and loving a mortal. Marta was a nice girl, pretty, and maybe a little ditzy, but she genuinely cared about Emil and himself. However…

…She just loved Emil a bit more than him.

Ratatosk, from his prison in Emil's soul, snorted to himself.

Emil really was a lucky guy. And the poor kid didn't even know it.

Regardless, the blond swordsman resolved to protect Marta, even if he was summoned out from Emil's soul without permission. Because dammit, he loved the girl to pieces, even if those feelings weren't reciprocated.

With a sigh, the spirit peered up into the white void of his counterpart's soul.

Some things in life are just unattainable no matter what we do.

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><p><strong>AN: Few things to address:**

**1) I was originally going to make this part of a 25-days of one-shots series, but it is now a standalone.**

**2)There will be no holiday special for my other stories.**

**3) Please, still post reviews. Feedback is greatly appreciated.**

**On that note, this is Eclipse2012, signing off!**


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